I can't write this in my diary and I don't excatly want to write it on here either, but I need somewhere to write it where my mom won't read it.

I'm tired of all of this. I'm tired of crying myself to sleep. I'm tired of being hit and slapping. I'm tired of hating how I look, how I act, who I am. I'm tired of loving and never being loved in return. I'm tired of my brother being the only one that really cares and wants to help (yet he hardly seems to anymore). I need to. If I don't things are just going to go down hill more and more. I don't care about my future anymore. I'm so paranoid I'll end up alone that I can't held ever finding out, ever living to find out. That's what's scarying me, that's what's making me want to. I just need to find a way how... I don't have anywhere high enough, trust me, I've tried buildings, you can't get on the roof. Can someone that commited suicide come back from the death and explain to me how to get to the top of a building, please? It's really the only answer I can seem to find that'll make me happy lately... and that thought scares me.