I know it sounds selfish. and I know I probably should vanish the thought altogether but it does really hurt. really really hurt.

Also, I can't believe my brother's graduating college today! I mean gosh, he works at blockbusters for crying out loud haha. I feel for him, I mean, he has his dreams sight so high and I have no doubt he'll get them but he's not thinking right, he needs to start from the bottom. He can't just become a boss of some big company. He has to work at it. He always keeps telling me that I can be a famous director and I will be and you know, those things he says does make me believe I can but I have to think reality. I need to start at the bottom and work really hard to get to the top, I know that, I don't think he does.

Some time yesterday I got kicked out of my house again, walked Grace to school then went over to see Travis and my brother at work hahaha. Gosh, I love it there, they always make me feel so happy.
My brother and I were talking about something... can't even remember what to be honest, but the subject of lesbians came up, now, Travis didn't know I was bi but my brother does so when my brother said "haha... that's only because you are one!" and then I blushed and was like "haha.... well..." then Travis was like "eh? Meh, not a big deal" and then I was like "wait a second, TECHINCALLY, I'm not" and then Travis was all "how can you not be a lesbian? either you are or you aren't" and he has a point there but then I was like "nuh uh" and then my brother said that I "go both ways" and then Travis was like "ahhh, haha, well at least you know at a young age" and I just kinda smiled and laughed and then he was all "OMG cute laugh!" and yeah ahha... but yeah they make me happy. OH! ha! and then my brother like hugged Travis and was like "look we're gay too!" and then he started like stroking his head, it was hilarious. Then Travis was like "you smell like clone, I don't date guys with clone, sorry"
So yeah... I don't know, it was funny to me, lots of stuff happened well I was there haha.

Anyways... I really wanna talk to you, don't know why... just... do. I need you.