After hugging and crying togethter, Avril and I feel asleep, tear streaked cheek to tear streaked cheek. Sun soaked through our bedroom window, waking me up to look at the clock. Six AM. Avril and I must have slept at least 5 hours. I yawned and shut my eyes again, rolling over more to Avril's side of the bed. Suddenly, my mind allowed my thoughts to drift back to yesterday. To the park, to Jay and that girl. I yawned again and opened my eyes, hoping that opening them would make me forget about that day. Avril was fast asleep in front of me, snoring and drooling onto her pillow. I smiled and laughed as I turned onto my back and rubbed my eyes. I lay there for a couple of minutes before getting up and closing the blinds. I got back into bed beside Avril and stared at her calm, sleeping face.
"Wake up," I whispered. I waited a couple of seconds, to see if she'd wake up. When she didn't, I got up again and went into the kitchen. I opened each cupboard, trying to find something that suited my mood. Nothing seemed good enough, so I shuffled off to the couch and sat down. I had only got one yawn in before the hotel phone ran.
"Hello?" I answered, my voice sounding tired and scratchy. I cleared my throat as a perky woman said, "Good morning Miss! There is someone on line two for a Miss Coal."
Avril Coal, not Angela Coal. I was Angela White.
"Oh, well, she's asleep right now. Who is it?" I asked, curious as to who would call Avril at six in the morning.
"Mr. Carson Jack is calling, Miss." The perky hotel lady said, sounding too excited for a call so early in the morning; a call that wasn't even for her.
"Oh, um, well I can take the call then," I said, thinking it'd be fine with Avril if I just talked to him and got a message for her.
"Alright Miss! I'll put him through for you," The perky lady said, "Goodbye Miss, and have a nice day!"
"Yeah, you too..." I said yawning as she hung up and Carson's voice sounded in my ear. "Hello?"
"Hey, Carson. Sorry, Avril's asleep. I guess I could wake her up if you want me to?" I asked.
"Oh, hey Angela. No it's okay, let her sleep. Jesus though, that lady was awfully... excited for so early, eh?" Carson said, with a little chuckle.
I laughed, "Yeah, sounds like Avril after too much coffee."
"Really? She never drinks coffee when she's with me," Carson chuckled.
"Well consider yourself lucky. I've seen her after lots of coffee, at least ten times and it ain't pretty," I smiled.
"Hmm, ah well then, we've got time," Carson said. Suddenly I remembered how Avril said we should get out of London. I thought of telling Carson, but it'd probably be better for her to tell him.
"So, do you want me to take a message for Avril?" I asked, curious as to why he would call so early in the morning.
"Erm, guess not. Just tell her I called, I guess," He said in a low whisper.
"Oh, alright," I said, a little disappointed to not figure out why he was calling.
There was an awkward silence between us before Carson spoke again. "Well, I best be going. Sorry if I woke you."
"Alright, talk to you later"
We said our good-byes and hung up. I sat there for a couple of minutes before I heard Avril stretch and fall out of bed. I laughed as I heard her mumble something and shuffle into the living room/kitchen, where I was seated on the couch.
"Hey sleepy head. You missed Carson, he just called." I smiled at the half asleep person in front of me.
Avril looked dazed as she moved herself into the kitchen and got a bowl of cereal.
"What time is it?" She yawned.
I watched Avril poor some cereal and milk into a bowl, amused at how her hair stook up all over the place.
"Almost seven-ish I think," I said, still smiling as I made my way into the kichten.
"Fucking hell, he called that early? What the hell for?" Avril asked as she rubbed her eyes and sat down at the kitchen counter. She started to stuff her mouth with Coco Puffs as I took a seat beside her.
"No idea," I said, stealing a Coco Puff from her bowl. She gave me a dirty look.
I smiled. "He just said to tell you he called." I stole two more Coco Puffs and popped them into my mouth.
"My food," Avril said, a mouth full of cereal. She started to push her bowl away from me as I stole a couple more Coco Puffs and smiled. "No," I popped the little corn balls into my mouth, "my food."
"Bitch." Avril swallowed a mouth full.
I gasped, "offended!"
"Please, save the drama for someone who's less sleepy," Avril said, pushing more food into her mouth.
I smiled evilly as I took more cereal from her and began to tickle Avril's hip - one of her many tickle spots.
"Hell no," Avril laughed a little, to her dismay. "Anegla!" She yelled as she jumped out of her chair, running away with me behind her.
"Angela! It's too early for this!" Avril laughed as I pinned her down on the floor, tickling her feet, hips, stomach, legs, arms, ands under arms.
"Stop!" She yelled and laughed, turning things around and tickling me.
"Ahhhh! Not fair!" I screamed and laughed as I ran away from her.
Avril laughed and tackled me to the ground.
"Nooo!!" I yelled as she tickled me, hitting my ticklish spots perfectly so I was laughing so hard I could hardly breathe.
Over the laughing and screaming for mercy, we heard someone knocking at the front door. Avril and I turned our heads to look at the door, like looking at it would show us who it is.
"Who is it?" Avril yelled in a sing-song voice. I squirmed around, trying to get out from under Avril.
"Your dream man!" The person behind the door yelled.
Avril giggled as she tickle me again. "Stop trying to get free, it ain't happening," She whispered to me.
"And who may my dream man be?" She yelled back to the door, giggling.
"Carson Jack! And he has brought another fair knight along with him. Maybe Princess Angela would like a go at him?" Carson and some other guy laughed behind the door.
This got my attenion. "And what may this... fair knight's name be?" I yelled at the door.
Avril giggled, still sitting on top of me.
"The fellow knight is Victor, my fair maiden," Carson snickered, knocking on the door again,
"Come on, Avril! Angela! Let us in!"
"Impatient! Jeez, door open boys." Avril said and began to tickle me again.
Avril and I were lying on the floor, her on top of me, laughing and screaming, when Carson and his friend Victor came in through the door.
Carson burst out laughing, while Victor just stood there smiling.
"Well, well, look what we have here!" Carson smiled as he bent down beside me. "Two hot girls tickling each other. Ain't that a little... sexual?" He asked Victor, winking at me.
Avril rolled off of me giggling, heading over to Carson to kiss him. I got up off the ground only to meet eyes with Victor. I smiled at him as I took in his flippy brown hair and green eyes. He was fit, well shaved, and had a good wardrobe by the looks of it.
He smiled back. "Hey, having fun?"
I laughed a little. "Ha, yeah, loads."
We smiled at each other quietly for a little while, Carson and Avril smiling at us, amused.
Suddenly it ocurred to Avril and I at the same time that neither one of us had brushed our hair or teeth, showered, or even changed out of our pajamas.
We looked at each other, reading eachother's mind, and shirked as we ran around getting for the day with Carson and Victor laughing at us, amused.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Friday, August 10, 2007
Two Years
I've decided something... somewhat of a goal I guess. It's been two years now and I'm gonna give it one more year. If I'm not over this I'm gonna make it end myself. I know I've been talking like that ever since it started but I mean now I'm older, wiser, right? And I mean, next year I'll be sixteen and a lot can happen in a year, right? For all we know (as much as I doubt it) I could be over her by this time next year.
But if I'm not, I'm done with it all, for real this time. I know suicide is the stupidest thing in this world, and probably not a smart thing but you try being heart broken for 2 years so far with no sign of it ending in the future to come. Also, add on to that the person you love is the person that'll never love you - the person you'll never get a chance with.
It's sad to think that if I was born a guy all this wouldn't be happening.
But if I'm not, I'm done with it all, for real this time. I know suicide is the stupidest thing in this world, and probably not a smart thing but you try being heart broken for 2 years so far with no sign of it ending in the future to come. Also, add on to that the person you love is the person that'll never love you - the person you'll never get a chance with.
It's sad to think that if I was born a guy all this wouldn't be happening.
Monday, August 6, 2007
More of Story - Still Haven't Decided On a Title
The thought about seeing him here had never occured to me before. So when I thought it was them standing there holding hands, I had to take one more quick look to check if it was.
There he was. The only person I'd ever loved, linking arms with a blonde chick (the oppsite of my newly dyed jet black hair). She was laughing at something he just said, him smiling down at her. He seemed so happy that it only allowed one thought into my head; Why not me? Why was he happy with her and not me? Suddenly I was filled with bitterness towards him and all I wanted was to see that slut with her perfect smile make a fool of herself infront of him; infront of me. I had never before this thought of myself as a mean, hatful person. I wasn't excatly hatful towards him, but I was mad. I watched them laugh and cling to each other some more, then just when I was getting up from my bench to leave, he bent down and kissed her softly, a caring, loving kiss. My heart skipped a beat as I stood here, ready to leave, just watching him kiss her and her kiss abck. Tears streamed down my face as I began to rush back to the hotel. Why her? Why not me? Why was she allowed to be happy with him and I wasn't? How could he do this to me? He said he loved me. He lied to me.
When I opened the door to our hotel room I found Avril and Carson making out on the couch infront of the big screen tv. When they heard me come in the door, their faces shut up right away and noticed my puff, red eyes.
"Angela?" Avril asked, a worry edge in her voice. She wuckly got up from the couch and came over to me. Her arms wrapped around me as I sobbed silently into her shoulder and whispered, "I saw him with her..."
Avril clicked her tongue sympachticly, "Oh, honey"
My throat started to tighten with every thought of him kssing her. I couldn't hold in my tears any longer, I started to bawl as I tried to tell Avril and Carson the story.
"Shhh" Avril hushed me softly as Carson came over to me and rubbed my back. He whispered, "Who'd she see?" to Avril. I couldn't see Avril's face because mine was bruied in her shoulder, but I could feel the dirty look she was giving him.
Carson said sorry, hugged me and then said he'd leave us alone, he's call later. I quickly gathered myself together, "no, no. I'll go. Sorry for introupting"
"Anegla, come back here" Avril said as I hurried to the door. I could tell she wasn't pleased with me leaving by the edge in her voice. I turned around and went to the couch to sit down.
"Carson, I'll call you later" Avril said. Carson nodded, winked at me, and off he went.
Once he was gone, Avril sighed and turned to look at me, "I know asking if you're okay would be a dumb thing to do, seeing how you obviously aren't. But it's the only thing I can think of to say."
More tears started to roll down my cheeks as I made myself into a tiny ball on the couch. Avril sighed again and sat down next to me. Her warm arms wrapped around me again in a tight hug.
"What can I do?" She asked as I laid down on the couch, laying my head on her lap.
"I don't know" I answered in a whisper.
"Hmm," Avril hummed as she began to stroke my hair. We stayed quiet for while, me sniffling, her humming and stroking my hair. The silence felt comforting, calming even. I smiled at the thought of how nice it was to have a friend that would kick out her boyfriend just to comfort me in a time of need.
After a minute or so, Avril suddenly spoke in a calming, quiet tone, "we should go away"
"Aren't we already away?" I asked, reminding myself of home and hot I missed my mom and dad. I had called them just the other day, telling more my mom than my dad how things were going, how I was feeling about Jay, how this trip actually wasn't so bad. I would have to call tehm again tongiht to hell them about seeing Jay and his new girlfriend. I knew just like Avril, my mom would have nice things to say to help me through it all.
:I know but I mean go somewhere else, other than London" Avril said, still stroking my hair.
"What about Carson?" I asked, tears still streaming my cheeks.
"He'll come, and if not, so what? This trip is for me and you, not him." Avril smiled.
I smiled back, "Okay..."
"Lets go to Lincoln. It'll be perfect. A nice quiet town with beauitful places to visit is just what we need."
Lincoln was also home to Avril's mom's family mebers and I knew that Avril hated them. After they visited once and trashed her barbie collection as a kid and bad mouthed her friends as a teenager, Avril never seemed to talk about them or to them.
"What about your family?" I asked, "Don't do all this crap like kicking you boyfriend out and going somewhere you don't want to go just ebcause of Jay."
"Anegla, I'm not doing it for that dick, I'm doing it for you, My friend." Avril said as she stopped stroking my hair and I sat up to look at her.
"Okay.." I said, for lack of anything else to say.
We were quiet again for awhile as Avril's expression turned into the tense, nervous one I saw on the plane coming here.
"Avril...?" I asked, wondering if she could even hear me, her expression looked so far off.
"Mhmm?" She replied, still looking right through me.
"Why... why do you hate your family so much?" I asked, hearing the curious edge of my own voice.
Now Avril looked at me, the tense, nervous look still in her eyes.
"Do you really want to know?" Her voice seemed scared and hopeless.
I nodded, scooting closer to her on the couch.
Avril sighed, "really Anegla? It's a long story. One you've either never listened to or one I just didn't want to bother you with."
"Never listened to? Never wanted to bother me with? Avril, I'm your friend. The least I can do is sit down and talk with you about stuff that's happening in your life, like you do with me" I said as I shuffled on the couch to get more comfortable.
Avril sighed and shuffled on the couch just as I did, "Anegla, everytime I sat down with you to tell you what's going on in my life you would change it to something about you, forgetting mine."
"What? I never did-" But just as I was about to correct her, I realized she was right. The only things I remember her telling me was about Carson when we first became friend, and even then I would somehow cahnge to stuff about Jay and I.
Then it popped into my head. A month before we were leaving for this trip Avril said something about her family, I couldn't remember what it was... I didn't listen at the time.
"Oh my god..." I breathed out, "I'm a horrible friend"
"No, you're not. You've had a lot of things to deal with, with that prick and all. I never expected you to give a crap about my crap"Avril said with a smile, a fake one.
"Jesus Avril, you know that's not an excuse. You have things going on in your life just as I do and you always help me, yet I never even try to help you. I want to be here for you. So, go, talk, I'll listen and be here to try and help without speaking of my problems." I said, still chocked at how horrible I had been to her.
"Really? You don't have to, they're stupid problems anyways" Avril said to the floor.
"Like mine aren't? No, I want to listen and help" I said and smiled as Avril looked up from the ground and smiled at me. "Thanks, really."
I smiled back, "Anytime. Now go, talk away."
Avril stopped smiling and took a deep breath, "Well first... Well I guess there's no easy way to say this so I'll just start from the beginning."
I nodded, being kind of excited to hear my friends secrets.
"Well... my parents fight, a lot, and after awhile I joined in, sticking up for one or none of them. Then once my brother moved out..." She had to stop because suddenly tears started to pour down her cheeks and she started to hiccup a little. I moved closer to her and started to rub her back, trying to calm her down. She sniffled and hiccuped a little more before continuing, "when my brother moved out things got worse, the fighting for worse. My mom would yell at my dad for no reason. One day we were realling pissed off at each other, screaming at one another. I said soemthing to my mom about how she bitches too much and she.. slepped me across the face..." Avril explained, beginning to cry agfain after the last bit.
I was shocked, furious with her mother. I stopped rubbing her back and began to just stare at the floor. What could I say? I wanted to make her stop crying, something I was never used to doing. I moved her hair from her face and wiped some tears away, more just replacing those ones. The only thing I could think of to say was, "Are you okay?"
Avril gave a weak smile, the oppsite of the bright, happy one she usually had.
"Sure" was all she said.
"Um.. is this still happening?" I asked, still trying to find something to say that wasn't a question.
"Hmm.. a little.." Avril sighed.
"Avril, don't lie to me." I want to knwo what's happening" I said, concerned and worried for her.
Avril sighed again, tears still rolling down her cheeks, "yes, it's still happening. Worse than just a silly slap across the face."
My furious for her mom turned into anger as Avril stood up, wiping tears off her face. Avril sniffled and pulled up her shirt to reveal a yellow, black, purple and blue bruse that seemed to begin around her breats and end near her hips.
"She hits and kicks, yelling and screaming" Avril hiccuped, new tears rolling fast down her cheeks.
I got up and rushed over, pulling down her shirt, not daring to look anymore. I hugged her gently and let her cry into my shoulder as she had let me do many times before. I kept silent as she cried and we moved to the bed in our bedroom.
After about an hour of hugging and crying, Avril calmed down. "there's something I haven't told you still..." Avril hiccuped once more.
"Okay, go ahead" Was all I could think of to say. What other problems could happen to this one girl?
"My mom's fend up with me she says. So... so, she kicked me out of the house about two days before we came here." Avril said, laying down on teh be, tears rolling off her cheeks to the pillow her head rested on.
"Fuck" I said, getting up from the bed. Anger started to fill me. I was angry with how someone's own mother would do that to them. My mom was one of my best friends, I couldn't even imagine what Avril was going through.
"What?" Avril asked, sitting up from the bed with a concerned look in her puffy, red eyes.
"I'm angry!" I almost yelled. "how the fuck could someone do that to their own daughter? How could your family not care what the hell she's doing to you? It's abuse Avril, you should tell someone."
Avril looked shocked at my sudden mood change, "I told you, and I told Carson"
"Yes, but I mean someone that can actually do something, Avril" I said more calmly as I made my way over to the bed again.
More tears sprung from Avrils eyes. She looked down, playign with some fluff from the bed sheets, "Sorry" she whispered.
I sighed and sat down next to her. I lifted up her chin so she was looking at me, "hey," I whispered, wiping some tears away from her red cheeks. :ookinginto her bloodshot, green eyes I said, "I love you, Avril and I promise to do anything I can to help. I really do."
Avril's face broke into a smile, the bright one I was so fond of.
I smiled back as we embraced in a hug.
(that's all I have written so far =] enjoy )
There he was. The only person I'd ever loved, linking arms with a blonde chick (the oppsite of my newly dyed jet black hair). She was laughing at something he just said, him smiling down at her. He seemed so happy that it only allowed one thought into my head; Why not me? Why was he happy with her and not me? Suddenly I was filled with bitterness towards him and all I wanted was to see that slut with her perfect smile make a fool of herself infront of him; infront of me. I had never before this thought of myself as a mean, hatful person. I wasn't excatly hatful towards him, but I was mad. I watched them laugh and cling to each other some more, then just when I was getting up from my bench to leave, he bent down and kissed her softly, a caring, loving kiss. My heart skipped a beat as I stood here, ready to leave, just watching him kiss her and her kiss abck. Tears streamed down my face as I began to rush back to the hotel. Why her? Why not me? Why was she allowed to be happy with him and I wasn't? How could he do this to me? He said he loved me. He lied to me.
When I opened the door to our hotel room I found Avril and Carson making out on the couch infront of the big screen tv. When they heard me come in the door, their faces shut up right away and noticed my puff, red eyes.
"Angela?" Avril asked, a worry edge in her voice. She wuckly got up from the couch and came over to me. Her arms wrapped around me as I sobbed silently into her shoulder and whispered, "I saw him with her..."
Avril clicked her tongue sympachticly, "Oh, honey"
My throat started to tighten with every thought of him kssing her. I couldn't hold in my tears any longer, I started to bawl as I tried to tell Avril and Carson the story.
"Shhh" Avril hushed me softly as Carson came over to me and rubbed my back. He whispered, "Who'd she see?" to Avril. I couldn't see Avril's face because mine was bruied in her shoulder, but I could feel the dirty look she was giving him.
Carson said sorry, hugged me and then said he'd leave us alone, he's call later. I quickly gathered myself together, "no, no. I'll go. Sorry for introupting"
"Anegla, come back here" Avril said as I hurried to the door. I could tell she wasn't pleased with me leaving by the edge in her voice. I turned around and went to the couch to sit down.
"Carson, I'll call you later" Avril said. Carson nodded, winked at me, and off he went.
Once he was gone, Avril sighed and turned to look at me, "I know asking if you're okay would be a dumb thing to do, seeing how you obviously aren't. But it's the only thing I can think of to say."
More tears started to roll down my cheeks as I made myself into a tiny ball on the couch. Avril sighed again and sat down next to me. Her warm arms wrapped around me again in a tight hug.
"What can I do?" She asked as I laid down on the couch, laying my head on her lap.
"I don't know" I answered in a whisper.
"Hmm," Avril hummed as she began to stroke my hair. We stayed quiet for while, me sniffling, her humming and stroking my hair. The silence felt comforting, calming even. I smiled at the thought of how nice it was to have a friend that would kick out her boyfriend just to comfort me in a time of need.
After a minute or so, Avril suddenly spoke in a calming, quiet tone, "we should go away"
"Aren't we already away?" I asked, reminding myself of home and hot I missed my mom and dad. I had called them just the other day, telling more my mom than my dad how things were going, how I was feeling about Jay, how this trip actually wasn't so bad. I would have to call tehm again tongiht to hell them about seeing Jay and his new girlfriend. I knew just like Avril, my mom would have nice things to say to help me through it all.
:I know but I mean go somewhere else, other than London" Avril said, still stroking my hair.
"What about Carson?" I asked, tears still streaming my cheeks.
"He'll come, and if not, so what? This trip is for me and you, not him." Avril smiled.
I smiled back, "Okay..."
"Lets go to Lincoln. It'll be perfect. A nice quiet town with beauitful places to visit is just what we need."
Lincoln was also home to Avril's mom's family mebers and I knew that Avril hated them. After they visited once and trashed her barbie collection as a kid and bad mouthed her friends as a teenager, Avril never seemed to talk about them or to them.
"What about your family?" I asked, "Don't do all this crap like kicking you boyfriend out and going somewhere you don't want to go just ebcause of Jay."
"Anegla, I'm not doing it for that dick, I'm doing it for you, My friend." Avril said as she stopped stroking my hair and I sat up to look at her.
"Okay.." I said, for lack of anything else to say.
We were quiet again for awhile as Avril's expression turned into the tense, nervous one I saw on the plane coming here.
"Avril...?" I asked, wondering if she could even hear me, her expression looked so far off.
"Mhmm?" She replied, still looking right through me.
"Why... why do you hate your family so much?" I asked, hearing the curious edge of my own voice.
Now Avril looked at me, the tense, nervous look still in her eyes.
"Do you really want to know?" Her voice seemed scared and hopeless.
I nodded, scooting closer to her on the couch.
Avril sighed, "really Anegla? It's a long story. One you've either never listened to or one I just didn't want to bother you with."
"Never listened to? Never wanted to bother me with? Avril, I'm your friend. The least I can do is sit down and talk with you about stuff that's happening in your life, like you do with me" I said as I shuffled on the couch to get more comfortable.
Avril sighed and shuffled on the couch just as I did, "Anegla, everytime I sat down with you to tell you what's going on in my life you would change it to something about you, forgetting mine."
"What? I never did-" But just as I was about to correct her, I realized she was right. The only things I remember her telling me was about Carson when we first became friend, and even then I would somehow cahnge to stuff about Jay and I.
Then it popped into my head. A month before we were leaving for this trip Avril said something about her family, I couldn't remember what it was... I didn't listen at the time.
"Oh my god..." I breathed out, "I'm a horrible friend"
"No, you're not. You've had a lot of things to deal with, with that prick and all. I never expected you to give a crap about my crap"Avril said with a smile, a fake one.
"Jesus Avril, you know that's not an excuse. You have things going on in your life just as I do and you always help me, yet I never even try to help you. I want to be here for you. So, go, talk, I'll listen and be here to try and help without speaking of my problems." I said, still chocked at how horrible I had been to her.
"Really? You don't have to, they're stupid problems anyways" Avril said to the floor.
"Like mine aren't? No, I want to listen and help" I said and smiled as Avril looked up from the ground and smiled at me. "Thanks, really."
I smiled back, "Anytime. Now go, talk away."
Avril stopped smiling and took a deep breath, "Well first... Well I guess there's no easy way to say this so I'll just start from the beginning."
I nodded, being kind of excited to hear my friends secrets.
"Well... my parents fight, a lot, and after awhile I joined in, sticking up for one or none of them. Then once my brother moved out..." She had to stop because suddenly tears started to pour down her cheeks and she started to hiccup a little. I moved closer to her and started to rub her back, trying to calm her down. She sniffled and hiccuped a little more before continuing, "when my brother moved out things got worse, the fighting for worse. My mom would yell at my dad for no reason. One day we were realling pissed off at each other, screaming at one another. I said soemthing to my mom about how she bitches too much and she.. slepped me across the face..." Avril explained, beginning to cry agfain after the last bit.
I was shocked, furious with her mother. I stopped rubbing her back and began to just stare at the floor. What could I say? I wanted to make her stop crying, something I was never used to doing. I moved her hair from her face and wiped some tears away, more just replacing those ones. The only thing I could think of to say was, "Are you okay?"
Avril gave a weak smile, the oppsite of the bright, happy one she usually had.
"Sure" was all she said.
"Um.. is this still happening?" I asked, still trying to find something to say that wasn't a question.
"Hmm.. a little.." Avril sighed.
"Avril, don't lie to me." I want to knwo what's happening" I said, concerned and worried for her.
Avril sighed again, tears still rolling down her cheeks, "yes, it's still happening. Worse than just a silly slap across the face."
My furious for her mom turned into anger as Avril stood up, wiping tears off her face. Avril sniffled and pulled up her shirt to reveal a yellow, black, purple and blue bruse that seemed to begin around her breats and end near her hips.
"She hits and kicks, yelling and screaming" Avril hiccuped, new tears rolling fast down her cheeks.
I got up and rushed over, pulling down her shirt, not daring to look anymore. I hugged her gently and let her cry into my shoulder as she had let me do many times before. I kept silent as she cried and we moved to the bed in our bedroom.
After about an hour of hugging and crying, Avril calmed down. "there's something I haven't told you still..." Avril hiccuped once more.
"Okay, go ahead" Was all I could think of to say. What other problems could happen to this one girl?
"My mom's fend up with me she says. So... so, she kicked me out of the house about two days before we came here." Avril said, laying down on teh be, tears rolling off her cheeks to the pillow her head rested on.
"Fuck" I said, getting up from the bed. Anger started to fill me. I was angry with how someone's own mother would do that to them. My mom was one of my best friends, I couldn't even imagine what Avril was going through.
"What?" Avril asked, sitting up from the bed with a concerned look in her puffy, red eyes.
"I'm angry!" I almost yelled. "how the fuck could someone do that to their own daughter? How could your family not care what the hell she's doing to you? It's abuse Avril, you should tell someone."
Avril looked shocked at my sudden mood change, "I told you, and I told Carson"
"Yes, but I mean someone that can actually do something, Avril" I said more calmly as I made my way over to the bed again.
More tears sprung from Avrils eyes. She looked down, playign with some fluff from the bed sheets, "Sorry" she whispered.
I sighed and sat down next to her. I lifted up her chin so she was looking at me, "hey," I whispered, wiping some tears away from her red cheeks. :ookinginto her bloodshot, green eyes I said, "I love you, Avril and I promise to do anything I can to help. I really do."
Avril's face broke into a smile, the bright one I was so fond of.
I smiled back as we embraced in a hug.
(that's all I have written so far =] enjoy )
Sunday, August 5, 2007
More Story
"Oooh, can I open the door first?" Avril asked jumping up and down.
"Sure" i said well moving from the door so she could get to it. Avril turned the key and opened the door to reveal a room of an apartment, not a hotel room. Avril gasped and sprung into the big room, which I was guessing was the living room/kitchen. She dropped her bags and began to run around the rooms, yelling things like "oh my god! I love this room!"
"She sure does get excited easily" Carson chuckled as he sat down on a couch in front of a big screen tv with an Xbox 360 hooked up to it. I laughed and dropped my bags to the ground.
"I don't know if I blame her. This plce is amazing" I said as I sat down next to him, the hearest I'd been to him all day. I was so close I could tell he was wearing axe colonge, a smell both me and Avril had never enjoyed.
"Oh my god! We have ta balcony Angela!" We heard Avril yell from somewhere in the maze of rooms. We laughed as we got up in unison to explore. We found the blacony Avril was on, Carson went there with her as I went back to get my bags and put them next to Avril's. When we had booked the room, Avril and I decided on a one bedroom with one big bed and another bedroom with a double bed. The double bed room would of been where Carson or Jay and the person that clarmed the man would stay. At the time Avril and I called it "the sex room" as it was clear that would be the only thing happening in that room. Now that room would probably only be used by Avril and Carson, even though Avril said she couldn't do that well I was in my current state of "heart break". Avril and Carson came into the bedroom holding hands as I began to start hanging my clothes in one closet. Avril then began to do the same with her own clothes, hanging them in a different closet next to mine.
"Are either of you jet-lagged?" Carson asked, coming up behind Avril and putting his hands gentlely around her waist well kissing her neck.
"Yes" Avril answered with an amused laugh.
"What about you Angela?" Carson looked at me with his arms still around Avril.
I smiled, "same here, sorry"
"Damn! I wanted to take my girls out tonight" Carson said kissign Avril's neck once more.
"So we're your girls, eh?" Avril asked spinning around to face him and linking her arms together around his neck.
"Yep," Carson smiled and kissed her, "my girls"
Avril's face broke into a huge smile as she kissed him again. She was happy.
Carson unlinked his arms from around Avrils waist and came over to me.
"Right? You're my girl too?" Carson asked, tickling me right on my tickle spot on my hips.
I laughed, "Yes! Yes! Just stop tickling me!"
"Fine" Carson pouted all the way to the bed where he soaked down on the bed.
"I just love how you treat her like she's your best friend" Avril smiled.
At first I thought she was being sarcastiv and actually was very jealous, but later on when Carson left, Avril explained that she wasn't jealous at all. She said she knew CArson loved her and that she trusted him and me. When she told me this, I felt proud of her. The one other boyfriend she had, she clung on to him tightly and got jealous of every other girl that came along and he talked to, sometimes even me. But with Carson she was different, she was more herself. Girls seemed to talk to him a lot (I couldn't blame them. Carson was hot) Carson acted like he hardly cared about those other girls though. He would just smile, pull Avril closer to him, kiss her and say it the nicest way, "Taken"
Avril seemed to be in heavan during the first week we were in London. I didn't blame her, if Carson was mine, I would be too. During out first week, he douted on Avril and I, his girls, every chance he got. On Friday, thought, Carson was called up by a friend saying he needed him right away.
"I'm so sorry girls. I'll take you to the castle tomorrow, promise." Carson said, hugging and kissing Avril and planting a light kiss on my cheek.
"No problem" Avril smiled, pulling me in for a hug," Angela and I need a girls day anyways."
Carson smiled and said bye one more time before exiting through the front door.
Avril smiled and trooted off into the kitchen. I sat down on the big couch, hoping Avril wouldn't want to go out tonight. I don't think my feet could handle walking about anymore castles. Avril returned from the kitchen with a box of plain Ritz crackers, her and my favourite.
"So.." Avril said with a sigh, plopping herself on the couch next to me.
"Mhmm?" I asked, digging my hand into the cracker box.
"How you doing?" Avril asked well turning on the couch to face me.
"Alright, I guess. Just tired, you?" I replied knowing full well where this conversation was going.
"Happy" Avril smiled.
I smiled back, "good"
Avril crunched on a cracker as her happy smile disappeared.
"I'm worried about you," shje said as she swallowed the contents of some crackers.
"Why? I'm fine, happy almost." I said with a big smile to show how happy I really was.
Avril fround, "Angela, I know you. The way you look at me and CArson or any other couple is sad. To be honest, it hurts me to see you this sad. SO please be honest, is about the asshole?"
I sighed, "Okay, I'm sorry. But you know what it's like to be heart broken"
"I know..." Avril said in almost a whisper, probably remembering when she found out her first boyfriend was cheating on her.
Avril sighed and opened her arms for a welcomed hug, "come here. I feel like I haven't hugged you in forever"
I smiled and fell into her warm arms, hugging her back.
After our hug, Avril and I talked for awhile longer; laughing, remembering, about Carson, and more about Jay, the "asshole" as Avril had started to call him. It was nice to sit down and talk to her. We hadn't done that in awhile. After out talk, Avril went over to Carson's and I went for a walk.
London was buzzing around me well I made my way to the closet park. Like most days, there was mist and a light rain over the buzzing city, The weather here seemed to put a new depression on me that I had never expirenced before.
I sat down on a damp bench, not caring if my bottom got wet or not. My thoughts started to drift off to different things; my family back home, Carson, Avril, London and of course, Jay. It was when I started to feel comfortable with my decision for coming to England that I saw him. I had just started thinking how I don't need him. It really was his loss and that no matter what I still had a great family and amazing friends to help me through this. It was just as I was beginning to get ready to forget abou thim and the slut he lied about when I happened to think I saw that liar and slut attached to him. I mean, it wasn't impossible, he did live here too after all.
(sorry I'm too lazy to type out more - there is WAY WAY WAY more to type out so I'll type out later - probably when I'm just as bored as I was a couple of minutes ago)
"Sure" i said well moving from the door so she could get to it. Avril turned the key and opened the door to reveal a room of an apartment, not a hotel room. Avril gasped and sprung into the big room, which I was guessing was the living room/kitchen. She dropped her bags and began to run around the rooms, yelling things like "oh my god! I love this room!"
"She sure does get excited easily" Carson chuckled as he sat down on a couch in front of a big screen tv with an Xbox 360 hooked up to it. I laughed and dropped my bags to the ground.
"I don't know if I blame her. This plce is amazing" I said as I sat down next to him, the hearest I'd been to him all day. I was so close I could tell he was wearing axe colonge, a smell both me and Avril had never enjoyed.
"Oh my god! We have ta balcony Angela!" We heard Avril yell from somewhere in the maze of rooms. We laughed as we got up in unison to explore. We found the blacony Avril was on, Carson went there with her as I went back to get my bags and put them next to Avril's. When we had booked the room, Avril and I decided on a one bedroom with one big bed and another bedroom with a double bed. The double bed room would of been where Carson or Jay and the person that clarmed the man would stay. At the time Avril and I called it "the sex room" as it was clear that would be the only thing happening in that room. Now that room would probably only be used by Avril and Carson, even though Avril said she couldn't do that well I was in my current state of "heart break". Avril and Carson came into the bedroom holding hands as I began to start hanging my clothes in one closet. Avril then began to do the same with her own clothes, hanging them in a different closet next to mine.
"Are either of you jet-lagged?" Carson asked, coming up behind Avril and putting his hands gentlely around her waist well kissing her neck.
"Yes" Avril answered with an amused laugh.
"What about you Angela?" Carson looked at me with his arms still around Avril.
I smiled, "same here, sorry"
"Damn! I wanted to take my girls out tonight" Carson said kissign Avril's neck once more.
"So we're your girls, eh?" Avril asked spinning around to face him and linking her arms together around his neck.
"Yep," Carson smiled and kissed her, "my girls"
Avril's face broke into a huge smile as she kissed him again. She was happy.
Carson unlinked his arms from around Avrils waist and came over to me.
"Right? You're my girl too?" Carson asked, tickling me right on my tickle spot on my hips.
I laughed, "Yes! Yes! Just stop tickling me!"
"Fine" Carson pouted all the way to the bed where he soaked down on the bed.
"I just love how you treat her like she's your best friend" Avril smiled.
At first I thought she was being sarcastiv and actually was very jealous, but later on when Carson left, Avril explained that she wasn't jealous at all. She said she knew CArson loved her and that she trusted him and me. When she told me this, I felt proud of her. The one other boyfriend she had, she clung on to him tightly and got jealous of every other girl that came along and he talked to, sometimes even me. But with Carson she was different, she was more herself. Girls seemed to talk to him a lot (I couldn't blame them. Carson was hot) Carson acted like he hardly cared about those other girls though. He would just smile, pull Avril closer to him, kiss her and say it the nicest way, "Taken"
Avril seemed to be in heavan during the first week we were in London. I didn't blame her, if Carson was mine, I would be too. During out first week, he douted on Avril and I, his girls, every chance he got. On Friday, thought, Carson was called up by a friend saying he needed him right away.
"I'm so sorry girls. I'll take you to the castle tomorrow, promise." Carson said, hugging and kissing Avril and planting a light kiss on my cheek.
"No problem" Avril smiled, pulling me in for a hug," Angela and I need a girls day anyways."
Carson smiled and said bye one more time before exiting through the front door.
Avril smiled and trooted off into the kitchen. I sat down on the big couch, hoping Avril wouldn't want to go out tonight. I don't think my feet could handle walking about anymore castles. Avril returned from the kitchen with a box of plain Ritz crackers, her and my favourite.
"So.." Avril said with a sigh, plopping herself on the couch next to me.
"Mhmm?" I asked, digging my hand into the cracker box.
"How you doing?" Avril asked well turning on the couch to face me.
"Alright, I guess. Just tired, you?" I replied knowing full well where this conversation was going.
"Happy" Avril smiled.
I smiled back, "good"
Avril crunched on a cracker as her happy smile disappeared.
"I'm worried about you," shje said as she swallowed the contents of some crackers.
"Why? I'm fine, happy almost." I said with a big smile to show how happy I really was.
Avril fround, "Angela, I know you. The way you look at me and CArson or any other couple is sad. To be honest, it hurts me to see you this sad. SO please be honest, is about the asshole?"
I sighed, "Okay, I'm sorry. But you know what it's like to be heart broken"
"I know..." Avril said in almost a whisper, probably remembering when she found out her first boyfriend was cheating on her.
Avril sighed and opened her arms for a welcomed hug, "come here. I feel like I haven't hugged you in forever"
I smiled and fell into her warm arms, hugging her back.
After our hug, Avril and I talked for awhile longer; laughing, remembering, about Carson, and more about Jay, the "asshole" as Avril had started to call him. It was nice to sit down and talk to her. We hadn't done that in awhile. After out talk, Avril went over to Carson's and I went for a walk.
London was buzzing around me well I made my way to the closet park. Like most days, there was mist and a light rain over the buzzing city, The weather here seemed to put a new depression on me that I had never expirenced before.
I sat down on a damp bench, not caring if my bottom got wet or not. My thoughts started to drift off to different things; my family back home, Carson, Avril, London and of course, Jay. It was when I started to feel comfortable with my decision for coming to England that I saw him. I had just started thinking how I don't need him. It really was his loss and that no matter what I still had a great family and amazing friends to help me through this. It was just as I was beginning to get ready to forget abou thim and the slut he lied about when I happened to think I saw that liar and slut attached to him. I mean, it wasn't impossible, he did live here too after all.
(sorry I'm too lazy to type out more - there is WAY WAY WAY more to type out so I'll type out later - probably when I'm just as bored as I was a couple of minutes ago)
"Let's go! Get away! Who needs these people, this town?"
She was so excited that it seemed like she would be miserable all summer if I didn't say yes. So I told her I'd go but no promises that I'd be all chipper and happy like she was. The next day I packed my things, kissed and hugged my parents one final time and boarded on the plane to England with Avril.
"Yay! Aren't you excited?" she said, jumping up and down in her seat at teh window. I decided that just because one of us was miserable and hated flying that it didn't mean that the other one should be too. So, I acted happy to keep Avril from going from happy to sad.
"Yeah, so excited" I said, trying to sound sacastic but not enough to make Avril sad.
"Come on Angela. Just because that asshole lied to you doesn't mean this trip souldn't be exciting. Aren't you excited at the least to see Carson?" Avril said, reminding me of why we planned this trip in the first place. That "asshole" Avril hated so much was someone I loved named Jay. Avril and I had planned this trip a year ago. It was all a plan to meet the two guys we had met on the internet two years par to when we planned the trip. Avril had met Caron a little after i had met Jay. Avril and I both had fallen madly in love with these men at the silly age of thirteen. They were both older, around seventeen at the time we met, had girlfriends, had british accents that just seems the sexiest at the time, and of course, they both liveing in London England. My best friend at the time didn't really give a damn about love and one day I just spoke up to Avril about her opinion on love. That's when her and I became friends and ended up sharing everything about Carson and Jay (even became friend with one anothers loves.) After two silly years of talking to them, Avril and I decided to plan a trip to England. Silly me, I should of known that within a year someone can break your heart easily. But despise all this I really was excited to see Carson.
"Yeah, I am excited to see him" I said well nervously checking around the plane to see when we'd begin to take off.
"Yay! Good! I know he's excited to beat your ass at Guitar Hero" Avril smirked.
I laughed, Avril knew everything there was to knwo about that game without actually ever havng to play it.
"Haha, you know very that I'm gonna beat his ass!" I said with another laugh.
"Okay, okay. True. See? You can still have fun on this trip without having to fuck anyone" Avril said with a knowing smile. Avril and I were both sixteen and still vrigins. Un like hald out school, her and I believed in saving ourselfs for the person we loved. Although sometimes I think Avril just wants to get it over with.
"Haha, very funny. Wait... Are you actually planning to do something with CArson the first tiem you meet him?" I asked.
Avril gasped, "how dare you think me as a whore!" We both laughed but from the smirk on her face I could tell Avril had probably stocked her pruse with condoms.
A lady come over the speaker on the plane telling to pluckle out seat belts, we were ready to take off. Avril sat up straight. She loved taking off and landing, but hated the just flying part. I was the total oppsite. I grabbed on to the handles and shut my eyes tight. Avril tabbed on my shoulder, I opened one eye to look at her. Avril smiled and took my hand, letting me squeeze it with all my might. I smiled back and shut my eyes tightly again, squeezing Avril's hand as we started to take off.
Avril looked tense and nervous as we smoothly made out way through the clouds.
"you okay?" I asked as a lady came around with headphone, I took two.
"Yep," She said, looking more nervous.
"Nervous about meeting Carson?" I asked as I put away a magzine I was looking at before.
"Kinad..." Avril said, still looking our the window. She hadn't talked or looked at me since a little well after we took off.
I sigh and began to unwrap the headphones. Suddenly Avril turned around to look at and smiled seeming more happy, "sorry. Just nervous about meeting him and all. What movie is playing?" She asked, seeming so bright and happy. It suddenly occured to me that her family wasn't there at the airport and didn't drop her off either. She had taken a cap there. I thought about asking her about it but instead said, "just some random romantic comedy"
"Oh gosh, that won't due. Why do they always have some movie that is about love? Don't they ever think that maybe that's what we're trying to get away from?" She said with a smile and a wink.
I smiled back, "yeah, it's almost like they don't care about our life"
Avril smiled and took my hand and squeezed it, "you'll be okay, Angela. It's his loss and you deserve way better. Also, you're fucking hot. He's missing out and I'm sure he realizes that now and will soon want you back and not that fat, slutty chick he's got now."
I smiled and hugged her. Sometimes she just always knew waht to say, what I needed to hear.
"Thank you," I smiled.
"No prob Dude. I love you" Avril said blowing a kiss.
"Love you too" I said, blowing a kiss back.
When we landed, Avril became nervous again, but in a different way then on the plane. She began to rush around, trying to grab our suitcases and leave. Carson had agreed to pick us up at the airport and drive us to out hotel, help us check in and get settled.
"Do you think he'll really be there?" Avril asked as we rushed to the main lobby to meet him.
"Yes, I'm sure he will" I said, trying to think of a way to calm her down.
"What if he doesn't notice me? OR think I'm pretty? what if he hates me in person?" Avril asked getting all flustered. I stopped and sat down on the bench to the side of where we were walking.
"This isn't the lobby, Angela! what are you doing?" Avril asked.
"Sit" I said, patting to the seat next to me. Avril whined and sighed but sat down next to me anyways.
"If Carson really loves you, Avril, he won't hate you in person. And he's seen pictures of you, seen you on webcam too, right? And I know he thinks you're gorgeous, you are. Also, I'm sure he's worrying the same things as you are right now." I said calmly.
Avril smiled, "thank you"
"No prob dude" I said as we embraced in a hug.
Avril took a deep breath, stood up and then said, "ready?"
"More than you are, I'm sure" I smiled as I stoof and we calmly rushed to the main lobby.
"He isn't here..." Avril said as she slopped into a chair next to her. I sighed and sat down next to her as she put her head in her hands, looking like she was about to cry. We had searched all around for Carson, Avril even called his cell umber he had given her before we left. he must of had it off because it went straight to the answering machine where Avril decided not ot leave a message.
I started to rub Avril's back, feeling useless in this situation.
"Excuse me?"
Avril and i looked up to see a guy standing infront of us, smiling.
"Sorry, I'm kinda late" Carson laughed nervously in his british accent.
Avril smiled as she stoof up and gave him a big hug.
"Bet you thought I'd leave ya here, huh?" Carson asked, with Avril still hanging onto him. Abril nodded and whispered something in his ear that I couldn't quite hear. After a few more seconds of hugging, Abril and Carson broke off and smiled at each other. For a second I thought Carson was going to kiss her but instead he turned to me, "Hey kiddo, nice flight?" I smiled, "yeah, thanks" He winked at me before we headed outside and loaded out stuff into Carson's jeep, the wheel on the other side of the car.
Avril ran around the hotel like an excited little kid at chirstmas, Carson and I following her and laughing. Her excitment began to rub off on me and I was soon just as excited as her.
"Calm down, Avril" Carson laughed, pulling her into a hug. I watched them with a smile, feeling happy for my best friend to have someone that cared and loved her.
"Jeez, we haven't even gotten to out room yet" I said, smirking at her as she amused herself with a zipper on her suitcase.
"Sorry," she said sheepishly, "I've just never been out of our city before and now we're in a whole other country!"
"so you've never been in a hotel either I'm guessing?" I asked.
"Yep" Avril answered as the doors of the elvator opened to our hotel room.
"Fancy" Carson said as we grabbed our stuff and suggled to a door that opened out actual hotel room.
"Who has the keys?" Asked Avril. Carson raised his hand and dug into his pocket for the two keys.
"One for each of you" he said as he handed a key to me and Avril.
(fuck it, I'm to lazy to type out the rest, there's a shit load more, it hasn't even gotten to the good parts that i've written.. instead of this crappy, rushed writing. God, it could be so much better so sorry for the bad ness of my writing and for beign too lazy to type out the rest, will do soon, promise.)
She was so excited that it seemed like she would be miserable all summer if I didn't say yes. So I told her I'd go but no promises that I'd be all chipper and happy like she was. The next day I packed my things, kissed and hugged my parents one final time and boarded on the plane to England with Avril.
"Yay! Aren't you excited?" she said, jumping up and down in her seat at teh window. I decided that just because one of us was miserable and hated flying that it didn't mean that the other one should be too. So, I acted happy to keep Avril from going from happy to sad.
"Yeah, so excited" I said, trying to sound sacastic but not enough to make Avril sad.
"Come on Angela. Just because that asshole lied to you doesn't mean this trip souldn't be exciting. Aren't you excited at the least to see Carson?" Avril said, reminding me of why we planned this trip in the first place. That "asshole" Avril hated so much was someone I loved named Jay. Avril and I had planned this trip a year ago. It was all a plan to meet the two guys we had met on the internet two years par to when we planned the trip. Avril had met Caron a little after i had met Jay. Avril and I both had fallen madly in love with these men at the silly age of thirteen. They were both older, around seventeen at the time we met, had girlfriends, had british accents that just seems the sexiest at the time, and of course, they both liveing in London England. My best friend at the time didn't really give a damn about love and one day I just spoke up to Avril about her opinion on love. That's when her and I became friends and ended up sharing everything about Carson and Jay (even became friend with one anothers loves.) After two silly years of talking to them, Avril and I decided to plan a trip to England. Silly me, I should of known that within a year someone can break your heart easily. But despise all this I really was excited to see Carson.
"Yeah, I am excited to see him" I said well nervously checking around the plane to see when we'd begin to take off.
"Yay! Good! I know he's excited to beat your ass at Guitar Hero" Avril smirked.
I laughed, Avril knew everything there was to knwo about that game without actually ever havng to play it.
"Haha, you know very that I'm gonna beat his ass!" I said with another laugh.
"Okay, okay. True. See? You can still have fun on this trip without having to fuck anyone" Avril said with a knowing smile. Avril and I were both sixteen and still vrigins. Un like hald out school, her and I believed in saving ourselfs for the person we loved. Although sometimes I think Avril just wants to get it over with.
"Haha, very funny. Wait... Are you actually planning to do something with CArson the first tiem you meet him?" I asked.
Avril gasped, "how dare you think me as a whore!" We both laughed but from the smirk on her face I could tell Avril had probably stocked her pruse with condoms.
A lady come over the speaker on the plane telling to pluckle out seat belts, we were ready to take off. Avril sat up straight. She loved taking off and landing, but hated the just flying part. I was the total oppsite. I grabbed on to the handles and shut my eyes tight. Avril tabbed on my shoulder, I opened one eye to look at her. Avril smiled and took my hand, letting me squeeze it with all my might. I smiled back and shut my eyes tightly again, squeezing Avril's hand as we started to take off.
Avril looked tense and nervous as we smoothly made out way through the clouds.
"you okay?" I asked as a lady came around with headphone, I took two.
"Yep," She said, looking more nervous.
"Nervous about meeting Carson?" I asked as I put away a magzine I was looking at before.
"Kinad..." Avril said, still looking our the window. She hadn't talked or looked at me since a little well after we took off.
I sigh and began to unwrap the headphones. Suddenly Avril turned around to look at and smiled seeming more happy, "sorry. Just nervous about meeting him and all. What movie is playing?" She asked, seeming so bright and happy. It suddenly occured to me that her family wasn't there at the airport and didn't drop her off either. She had taken a cap there. I thought about asking her about it but instead said, "just some random romantic comedy"
"Oh gosh, that won't due. Why do they always have some movie that is about love? Don't they ever think that maybe that's what we're trying to get away from?" She said with a smile and a wink.
I smiled back, "yeah, it's almost like they don't care about our life"
Avril smiled and took my hand and squeezed it, "you'll be okay, Angela. It's his loss and you deserve way better. Also, you're fucking hot. He's missing out and I'm sure he realizes that now and will soon want you back and not that fat, slutty chick he's got now."
I smiled and hugged her. Sometimes she just always knew waht to say, what I needed to hear.
"Thank you," I smiled.
"No prob Dude. I love you" Avril said blowing a kiss.
"Love you too" I said, blowing a kiss back.
When we landed, Avril became nervous again, but in a different way then on the plane. She began to rush around, trying to grab our suitcases and leave. Carson had agreed to pick us up at the airport and drive us to out hotel, help us check in and get settled.
"Do you think he'll really be there?" Avril asked as we rushed to the main lobby to meet him.
"Yes, I'm sure he will" I said, trying to think of a way to calm her down.
"What if he doesn't notice me? OR think I'm pretty? what if he hates me in person?" Avril asked getting all flustered. I stopped and sat down on the bench to the side of where we were walking.
"This isn't the lobby, Angela! what are you doing?" Avril asked.
"Sit" I said, patting to the seat next to me. Avril whined and sighed but sat down next to me anyways.
"If Carson really loves you, Avril, he won't hate you in person. And he's seen pictures of you, seen you on webcam too, right? And I know he thinks you're gorgeous, you are. Also, I'm sure he's worrying the same things as you are right now." I said calmly.
Avril smiled, "thank you"
"No prob dude" I said as we embraced in a hug.
Avril took a deep breath, stood up and then said, "ready?"
"More than you are, I'm sure" I smiled as I stoof and we calmly rushed to the main lobby.
"He isn't here..." Avril said as she slopped into a chair next to her. I sighed and sat down next to her as she put her head in her hands, looking like she was about to cry. We had searched all around for Carson, Avril even called his cell umber he had given her before we left. he must of had it off because it went straight to the answering machine where Avril decided not ot leave a message.
I started to rub Avril's back, feeling useless in this situation.
"Excuse me?"
Avril and i looked up to see a guy standing infront of us, smiling.
"Sorry, I'm kinda late" Carson laughed nervously in his british accent.
Avril smiled as she stoof up and gave him a big hug.
"Bet you thought I'd leave ya here, huh?" Carson asked, with Avril still hanging onto him. Abril nodded and whispered something in his ear that I couldn't quite hear. After a few more seconds of hugging, Abril and Carson broke off and smiled at each other. For a second I thought Carson was going to kiss her but instead he turned to me, "Hey kiddo, nice flight?" I smiled, "yeah, thanks" He winked at me before we headed outside and loaded out stuff into Carson's jeep, the wheel on the other side of the car.
Avril ran around the hotel like an excited little kid at chirstmas, Carson and I following her and laughing. Her excitment began to rub off on me and I was soon just as excited as her.
"Calm down, Avril" Carson laughed, pulling her into a hug. I watched them with a smile, feeling happy for my best friend to have someone that cared and loved her.
"Jeez, we haven't even gotten to out room yet" I said, smirking at her as she amused herself with a zipper on her suitcase.
"Sorry," she said sheepishly, "I've just never been out of our city before and now we're in a whole other country!"
"so you've never been in a hotel either I'm guessing?" I asked.
"Yep" Avril answered as the doors of the elvator opened to our hotel room.
"Fancy" Carson said as we grabbed our stuff and suggled to a door that opened out actual hotel room.
"Who has the keys?" Asked Avril. Carson raised his hand and dug into his pocket for the two keys.
"One for each of you" he said as he handed a key to me and Avril.
(fuck it, I'm to lazy to type out the rest, there's a shit load more, it hasn't even gotten to the good parts that i've written.. instead of this crappy, rushed writing. God, it could be so much better so sorry for the bad ness of my writing and for beign too lazy to type out the rest, will do soon, promise.)
Lmao At Old Songs I Wrote With Gay Titles
#1 Retarded Old Song by me -The Dream-
I see you
I see your hair flying in the wind
I can smell your scent
I'm loving this moment
I'm loving the smell of your hair
I'm loving the way you strum your guitar
And we'll look at this in the past
We'll remember all this and laugh
We'll remember how silly it all was
You broke me
You broke me
I'm holding your hand
I'm moving your hair from your face
And I'm loving you more tonight
And falling for this moment
Help me
Help me
You broke me
Let's look at the past
Let's remember the moment
Let's figure out what we did wrong
I want you back in my arms tonight
I see you
I see your hair flying in the wind
I can smell your scent
You broke me
Your lips touch mine
The music changes
And I can remember that moment clearly
I can remember the touch of your lips on mine
Let's kiss dear
Let's kiss dear
Kiss me dear
Let's remember the moment
Let's remember the laughs
Can you remember the way you loved me?
Let's kiss dear
Let's kiss dear
Let's kiss dear,
Just one more time
And you broke me
You broke me
You broke me
And isn't it funny how it all started with a dream?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
#2 -And Breathe-
Let's start with the piano
And will add some guitar
Then the singer will be heard
And can you love her tonight?
Can you look into her eyes and tell her you love her?
Can you save her
Oh, can you save her from the deep blue of your eyes
Now the piano stops and the guitars strumming trying to keep this song alive
Should the singer stop?
OR do you want this romantic feeling to stay?
Can you hear the hearts being broken tonight?
Can you see his love dying for her?
He's quiet for a moment
She can't hear him
she can't hear him breathing
Can she save him
Oh, can she save him from breaking her heart?
And can you hear the broken hearts tonight?
Can you hear the love dying tonight?
And now the piano begins again adn this guitarist rests
Did that save the romantic moment?
Did he begin to breath again?
And there it is
There's the tear
Rolling down her cheek
People will ask why she's crying
She never loved him
It was all a game to her
Can you hear the hearts being broken tonight?
Can you see his love dying for her?
And her love growing for him?
Now lets stop this piano and lets hear the guitarist once more
Lets listen to the singer telling a tale of depression
Did you see that?
Did you see the thing that fell out of his lifeless hand?
And the tears start again
She's crying now
She's looking at the ring in his lifeless hand
Can you hear the hearts being broken tonight?
Can you hear the hearts being broken tonight?
And there it is
The site of a marriage that was meant to be
But she killed him
She didn't notice the ring
She didn't realize that he loved her
She killed him with her undying love
And should the piano come back?
Or should this song end?
Can you hear the hearts being broken tonight?
Can you see that love will never end with more love?
Can you see that this couple is now dead from one girls undying love?
Can you see that marriage wil lnever if it never started?
She wipes her tears
And tries on the ring
Of course, it's a perfect fir
But it's too late
And now the singer stops
He stops singing this depressing tale well the piano and guitar take over
Can you hear the hearts being broken tonight?
Hearts being broken tonight
Now she's lifting the dagger she used
Now she's gonna do something she'll regret
And here it goes
Can you hear the hearts being broken tongiht?
Can you see this murder that started with one lie?
Started with one lie
One lie
One lie
Watch her
Watch as she presses the dagger into her heart
Dying along with her love
Dying along with that ring on her finger
And she lost his love
And she gained love for him
Can you hear the hearts being broken tonight?
Can you hear the piano ending?
The guitar starting to take over
Well the signer keep on going with this tale of depression
Hear this and remember
Remember that love will never end well
Remember that he lovedher
Remember that he did, till the happy dagger stabbed him with her steady hand
And remember, that you'll regret it
You'll regret ever paying thatdagger
Until it helps with your happy death
Can you hear the hearts being broken tonight?
Can you hear the hearts being broken tonight?
This sogn will end now
Finally the singer will stop
Finally he guitar and piano will end
It all will end
It all will end
-lmao, don't you love my long ass song that I wrote a year ago? Feed back on any of this sogns, good or bad, would be cool =] -
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
#3 -Four on a Friday Morning-
It was just a conspiracy, that bang that woke us up;
What a conspiracy to hear those screams and 4 am
Thousands of nights crying herself to sleep,
Til one night it ended with a sudden bang.
What a conspiracy, waking up to not a sound;
Being that gun to her head;
Can she pull the trigger?
Can she face her fears?
Did you hear those screams tonight;
They woke the town up;
That one whole family's screams,
They woke the town up tonight
And did you hear the screams?
O don't want to feel this way;
I don't want to feel this emptiness
I want it all to stop;
I want to music to end
Save me
Save me
Save me
Darling, save me
Thousands of nights crying herself to sleep,
Til one night it ended with a sudden bang
I guess she face her fears
What a conspiracy
-Damn, you can't tell I was suicidal at 13 at all, can you? lmao oh god-
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
#4 -Midnight Seems Fucked-
Who was the one that said these were the rough times?
Who was the one that said we'd need friends?
And who was it that said I wouldn't need you?
We're living in a dream,
We're passing the time with every word we speak,
It's all just a way to pass this midnight dream
Who was it that said I'd be begging to get out of this dream?
Who was it that said I would want to run away?
Who ever that was they never met you
We're living in a dream
I'll never forget the fist time your lips touched mine,
I'll never forget the time you said "I love you"
I'll never forget this midnight dream
Who was it that said I would get hurt?
Who was it that said you would go with him?
Who ever that was,
Was right
You ran away
You left me for him,
You were taken by that pretty face;
That perfect walk,
You were taken away from me with one quick kiss of his soft lips,
And suddenly our midnight dream turned into a midnight nightmare
Who was it that said I'd feel like shit after all this was over?
Who was it that said I'd be crying myself to sleep every night?
If you ever meet this person, please tell them they were right
Tell them they were right about all of this
Tell them they were right about the love and regrets
And will you coem back to this midnight dream?
Or stay in my nightmare where I'm dying?
And who was it that said these were the rough times?
Who was it that siad I would want out of this dream?
We're livign in a nightmare
-Sadly, this song still sings true to my heart-
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
#5 -Fucking Up This Town-
Let me hear the heart beat
Let me listen to the sweet music of summer
I'm waiting
And I'm listening
There's that place
Where hearts haven't been broken
and love hasn't been told to them
Let's break some hearts tonight
Let me listen to the sweet music of summer
Let me listen to the sound of summer affairs
Let me hear the heart beat
We're coming
We're coming to middle of this town
We're listening for heart beats
And let's break soem hearts tonight
Let's teach them how it feels to love and regret
Let's teach them the summer affiars
I'm gonna love you til the end of the day
I'm gonan break your heart once this day is over
And I'm sorry
It's the way we live
Let's break some fucking hearts tonight
Let's listen to the sweet music of the summer
Of the broken hearted
Of the broken heart you left me with
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Feed back = amazing
thanks for reading my crappy, year old songs
I see you
I see your hair flying in the wind
I can smell your scent
I'm loving this moment
I'm loving the smell of your hair
I'm loving the way you strum your guitar
And we'll look at this in the past
We'll remember all this and laugh
We'll remember how silly it all was
You broke me
You broke me
I'm holding your hand
I'm moving your hair from your face
And I'm loving you more tonight
And falling for this moment
Help me
Help me
You broke me
Let's look at the past
Let's remember the moment
Let's figure out what we did wrong
I want you back in my arms tonight
I see you
I see your hair flying in the wind
I can smell your scent
You broke me
Your lips touch mine
The music changes
And I can remember that moment clearly
I can remember the touch of your lips on mine
Let's kiss dear
Let's kiss dear
Kiss me dear
Let's remember the moment
Let's remember the laughs
Can you remember the way you loved me?
Let's kiss dear
Let's kiss dear
Let's kiss dear,
Just one more time
And you broke me
You broke me
You broke me
And isn't it funny how it all started with a dream?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
#2 -And Breathe-
Let's start with the piano
And will add some guitar
Then the singer will be heard
And can you love her tonight?
Can you look into her eyes and tell her you love her?
Can you save her
Oh, can you save her from the deep blue of your eyes
Now the piano stops and the guitars strumming trying to keep this song alive
Should the singer stop?
OR do you want this romantic feeling to stay?
Can you hear the hearts being broken tonight?
Can you see his love dying for her?
He's quiet for a moment
She can't hear him
she can't hear him breathing
Can she save him
Oh, can she save him from breaking her heart?
And can you hear the broken hearts tonight?
Can you hear the love dying tonight?
And now the piano begins again adn this guitarist rests
Did that save the romantic moment?
Did he begin to breath again?
And there it is
There's the tear
Rolling down her cheek
People will ask why she's crying
She never loved him
It was all a game to her
Can you hear the hearts being broken tonight?
Can you see his love dying for her?
And her love growing for him?
Now lets stop this piano and lets hear the guitarist once more
Lets listen to the singer telling a tale of depression
Did you see that?
Did you see the thing that fell out of his lifeless hand?
And the tears start again
She's crying now
She's looking at the ring in his lifeless hand
Can you hear the hearts being broken tonight?
Can you hear the hearts being broken tonight?
And there it is
The site of a marriage that was meant to be
But she killed him
She didn't notice the ring
She didn't realize that he loved her
She killed him with her undying love
And should the piano come back?
Or should this song end?
Can you hear the hearts being broken tonight?
Can you see that love will never end with more love?
Can you see that this couple is now dead from one girls undying love?
Can you see that marriage wil lnever if it never started?
She wipes her tears
And tries on the ring
Of course, it's a perfect fir
But it's too late
And now the singer stops
He stops singing this depressing tale well the piano and guitar take over
Can you hear the hearts being broken tonight?
Hearts being broken tonight
Now she's lifting the dagger she used
Now she's gonna do something she'll regret
And here it goes
Can you hear the hearts being broken tongiht?
Can you see this murder that started with one lie?
Started with one lie
One lie
One lie
Watch her
Watch as she presses the dagger into her heart
Dying along with her love
Dying along with that ring on her finger
And she lost his love
And she gained love for him
Can you hear the hearts being broken tonight?
Can you hear the piano ending?
The guitar starting to take over
Well the signer keep on going with this tale of depression
Hear this and remember
Remember that love will never end well
Remember that he lovedher
Remember that he did, till the happy dagger stabbed him with her steady hand
And remember, that you'll regret it
You'll regret ever paying thatdagger
Until it helps with your happy death
Can you hear the hearts being broken tonight?
Can you hear the hearts being broken tonight?
This sogn will end now
Finally the singer will stop
Finally he guitar and piano will end
It all will end
It all will end
-lmao, don't you love my long ass song that I wrote a year ago? Feed back on any of this sogns, good or bad, would be cool =] -
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
#3 -Four on a Friday Morning-
It was just a conspiracy, that bang that woke us up;
What a conspiracy to hear those screams and 4 am
Thousands of nights crying herself to sleep,
Til one night it ended with a sudden bang.
What a conspiracy, waking up to not a sound;
Being that gun to her head;
Can she pull the trigger?
Can she face her fears?
Did you hear those screams tonight;
They woke the town up;
That one whole family's screams,
They woke the town up tonight
And did you hear the screams?
O don't want to feel this way;
I don't want to feel this emptiness
I want it all to stop;
I want to music to end
Save me
Save me
Save me
Darling, save me
Thousands of nights crying herself to sleep,
Til one night it ended with a sudden bang
I guess she face her fears
What a conspiracy
-Damn, you can't tell I was suicidal at 13 at all, can you? lmao oh god-
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
#4 -Midnight Seems Fucked-
Who was the one that said these were the rough times?
Who was the one that said we'd need friends?
And who was it that said I wouldn't need you?
We're living in a dream,
We're passing the time with every word we speak,
It's all just a way to pass this midnight dream
Who was it that said I'd be begging to get out of this dream?
Who was it that said I would want to run away?
Who ever that was they never met you
We're living in a dream
I'll never forget the fist time your lips touched mine,
I'll never forget the time you said "I love you"
I'll never forget this midnight dream
Who was it that said I would get hurt?
Who was it that said you would go with him?
Who ever that was,
Was right
You ran away
You left me for him,
You were taken by that pretty face;
That perfect walk,
You were taken away from me with one quick kiss of his soft lips,
And suddenly our midnight dream turned into a midnight nightmare
Who was it that said I'd feel like shit after all this was over?
Who was it that said I'd be crying myself to sleep every night?
If you ever meet this person, please tell them they were right
Tell them they were right about all of this
Tell them they were right about the love and regrets
And will you coem back to this midnight dream?
Or stay in my nightmare where I'm dying?
And who was it that said these were the rough times?
Who was it that siad I would want out of this dream?
We're livign in a nightmare
-Sadly, this song still sings true to my heart-
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
#5 -Fucking Up This Town-
Let me hear the heart beat
Let me listen to the sweet music of summer
I'm waiting
And I'm listening
There's that place
Where hearts haven't been broken
and love hasn't been told to them
Let's break some hearts tonight
Let me listen to the sweet music of summer
Let me listen to the sound of summer affairs
Let me hear the heart beat
We're coming
We're coming to middle of this town
We're listening for heart beats
And let's break soem hearts tonight
Let's teach them how it feels to love and regret
Let's teach them the summer affiars
I'm gonna love you til the end of the day
I'm gonan break your heart once this day is over
And I'm sorry
It's the way we live
Let's break some fucking hearts tonight
Let's listen to the sweet music of the summer
Of the broken hearted
Of the broken heart you left me with
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Feed back = amazing
thanks for reading my crappy, year old songs
Friday, August 3, 2007
Home Home Home HOME!!!
Sing a happy song for me
I didn't mean to cause you pain
I didn't mean to leave a stain
I didn't mean to say that I loved you
I never thought that I would crash
I never thought I'd turn to ash
I never thought that I would love you
Sing a happy song for me
I didn't mean to steal your time
I didn't mean to make you shine
I didn't mean to say that I loved you
I don't mean to be so mean
I don't mean to come so clean
But now I'm everything without you
Here's another song for you
It might not be my best tune
But all the words I say ring true
I'm everything without you
I'm everything without you
I'm everything without you
I'm everything without you
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm home!! And oh how happy I am to be home. Don't think I could last another minute in that boring town.
I've made my decision!!!!
I'm staying here in the city!
After a week of living in the country (still 3 more to go) I don't think I could do it. Plus, the country teenagers hate me.. even the two I thought were my friends. How grand eh?
Ah well, I made lots of memories and lots o' stories to tell the people back here.. and there's just more to come.
Anyways!! God, have I missed this lovely city I call home. And damn have I missed the people in it more! After a week of not talking to anyone but my grandparents, my cousin (who's just always bitchy) and her husband and my aunt and uncle, I'm DYING to see my friends (or friend?).
I'm also dying to take PICTURES of her!! So badly. I've come up with more ideas and stuff and now I'm just ready to run over there, tell her what to wear and how to pose and then head off with my camera in hand.
This week away has definately made me look at the world in a whole new way. I just can't explain to anyone but her because I KNOW she's the only one that's gonna understand what I have to say.
Oh how I can't wait to see her!! I'm just so chipper!
I didn't mean to cause you pain
I didn't mean to leave a stain
I didn't mean to say that I loved you
I never thought that I would crash
I never thought I'd turn to ash
I never thought that I would love you
Sing a happy song for me
I didn't mean to steal your time
I didn't mean to make you shine
I didn't mean to say that I loved you
I don't mean to be so mean
I don't mean to come so clean
But now I'm everything without you
Here's another song for you
It might not be my best tune
But all the words I say ring true
I'm everything without you
I'm everything without you
I'm everything without you
I'm everything without you
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm home!! And oh how happy I am to be home. Don't think I could last another minute in that boring town.
I've made my decision!!!!
I'm staying here in the city!
After a week of living in the country (still 3 more to go) I don't think I could do it. Plus, the country teenagers hate me.. even the two I thought were my friends. How grand eh?
Ah well, I made lots of memories and lots o' stories to tell the people back here.. and there's just more to come.
Anyways!! God, have I missed this lovely city I call home. And damn have I missed the people in it more! After a week of not talking to anyone but my grandparents, my cousin (who's just always bitchy) and her husband and my aunt and uncle, I'm DYING to see my friends (or friend?).
I'm also dying to take PICTURES of her!! So badly. I've come up with more ideas and stuff and now I'm just ready to run over there, tell her what to wear and how to pose and then head off with my camera in hand.
This week away has definately made me look at the world in a whole new way. I just can't explain to anyone but her because I KNOW she's the only one that's gonna understand what I have to say.
Oh how I can't wait to see her!! I'm just so chipper!
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