I can't help but be pissed at two people right now.
First I just have to say, I don't excatly think I believe in God... but maybe I do believe in a "greater being". Therefore, if there is a "greater being" I'd like Him, or Her, to know that I'm pissed off with them. I can't decide if I'm more pissed off because you hurt me or because you broke a promise. I know that this sounds really insane and I know that maybe this "great being" didn't excatly promise but I just had this feeling things were gonna be good from now on, not perfect, but not bad either. He, or She, promised no harm, or hurt, would come to her through him. And this "greater being" broke it. I can't explain how pissed off I am at this "greater being" and how much I wish I could stop talking to this... thing, when something's bad.

Second, I'm pissed off at him. Yes, I have been pissed off at him ever since I stopped talking to him but now I'm more than pissed off... I'm angry, I'm frustrated. I'm down right ready to go over there and kick his ass (something I'm sure I couldn't go, but I'm sure my brother could). The funny thing is, I think I knew something was going to happen the second I started to feel that things were different, happy. I think that's why I started to suddenly doubt everything, get more depressed and start just giving up on everything. The sad part is that I may have known but I never let myself believe it, I never let myself prepare for this. I want to help. I want to email him to be honest and just take all my anger out at yelling at him.

You know what, this may sound selfish and all but I've thought about this for so long and I think I just need to come out and say it now. I know she loves him, and hell, he probably loves her too (who wouldn't love her? she's amazing) but hell... I really, truly think that if she loved me as I love her or as she loves him, I truly think I could make her happier than he ever can or ever will. I know, it sounds selfish, but I truly think that, 110% think that. I think that's the number two thing that pisses me off the most here (next to how he could do this to her and hurt her).

I'm really trying to expression how angry I am with this, but I really think she'll, or anyone else, will understand how much this hurts and angers me.