I owe this whole week an apoglize (don't laugh, i know I don't know how to spell). I realized that me asking questions about her caring or something mattering to her isn't going to help her care or something matter more, if anything it'll make her care less and things matter less. Also I've realized that she does make efforts to show she cares. If she didn't care I doubt she would ever of called me (called my cell lmao which I don't have) today or talked to me yesterday or let me stay at her house if it so happened that my mom hadn't showed up on wednesday. I think I never really realized the efforts she puts into our friendship but I sure notice them now. I may get jealous or sad at times or even mad get mad at her and I think that's when I start to ask questions, get paranoid. Now, seriously, I promise to try my very best to stop gettign so paranoid and asking questions. I just want our fighting to stop, I want to have a friendship with no fighting. And I know I don't have any chance of her ever letting me go out with her and I think I don't deserve a chance either, but if I do have even the very littlest chance I know I'm not helping it by getting paranoid and fighting with and basically ruining our friendship.

So there, I'm sorry. Really sorry.