Why was today so happy like? All I want to go is see all my really good friends and just laugh and hug them all tightly. I miss everything about home all of a sudden, and it's hardly even been a full week. Of course, there's my mom which I don't miss at all, but I definately miss my doggie and my brother and my daddy and even my brothers girlfriend. More importantly, I REALLY miss my bed!
Although, despite my happiness today there's still that sharp little pain in my chest telling me I have no reason to be happy, she doesn't love you, she's only a friend, and what happens when you lose that friendship, hmm? It's like my mind and body doesn't want me to be happy. I can't explain how much I hurt deep down. It's like I can smile, I can laugh, I can even trick myself into thinking I truly am happy, but in the end I feel horrible.
I also can't begin to describe how much I miss her even though it's only been a week. The only thing I think that hurts almost as much is the fact that she has plans when I get home so I don't even know if I'll see her at all this weekend because I have some feeling that my mom has plans for me. (my brother called me to tell me that my mom is bitching about how much she loves me not being there and he's worried she'll kick me out even during my weekend home... so if that happens that means I'll be out all Saturday and either fighting or just plain packing all Sunday before I come back here to downy ville)