Saturday, July 14, 2007

Crash and Burn

Is it right to think that my hopes of seeing her this weekend or even just hearing her voice have crashed and burned? I feel like my heart keeps skipping a beat and I can't do anything about any of this other than try to breathe well crying uncontrolably.

I'm sure it doesn't even matter too much to her. Maybe it doesn't matter at all to her. And when I say that I don't mean she doesn't care about how I feel or anything that has to do with not caring. What I mean is that she can go on living without seeing me other than maybe feeling bad that it makes me sad. Trust me, I know she cares, I know she's sorry, what I don't know is does it matter to her to see me before I go away for a week again... and not matter to her because it matters to me, but matter to her, just her. The other thing I don't know is does it matter to her (not me) to call me before I go.

Really, I guess, the one thing I want to know is do I matter to her.

6 comments:

Missing said...

Even after "hearing my voice" AND being with me.. you still say you cried. Really makes me feel good enough..

gone said...

that was wrote before

Missing said...

I know, but I'm referring to your boxedthought as well.

gone said...

oh well there are different reasons for why i was crying then

Missing said...

Point is you still did, so I didn't exactly make you happy.

gone said...

you did!
just, i was sad to go
but it still made me happy =]